8-5PM: work 5:30-6PM: catch up w/ad 6-7PM: maybe workout 8-10PM: work/relax 10PM: goodnight call *repeat*
I can’t believe I haven’t written about this topic before, but after getting off the phone with Adam tonight, I was inspired to write about our experiences with doing long distance. For those who are new the blog, here is a little bit of background on our relationship of eight years– Ad (my short-name for adam, which you will hear me say in person 98% of the time) and I started dating right after middle school, went to different high schools, went to college at Indiana University together and then currently: Adam is completing a masters program at Indiana University and I am working in Cincinnati, OH at Abbott Nutrition. During college Summers Ad and I were away from each other during the week and saw each other on weekends due to internships, jobs and summer school. We try seeing each other every weekend, but sometimes it ends up being every other weekend.
We’ve been doing this long distance thing for about five months already between his time during his internship and my job starting. Some days its not too bad, but some days are pretty tough. Adam and I rarely fight or argue, so when I say tough-the tough days are when work gets stressful and I wish I had him here with me. I remember at the beginning of my job it was so overwhelming and i was not ready to be separated all the time during this new journey. I remember I had tears when i saw him and tears when he left the first few months because I had such a good time during the weekend, I wouldn’t be ready for him to go.
trust. One of the biggest reasons it’s been “easy” for us is because we trust each other. This is something that has never been an issue because we are so open and honest with each other and we never get jealous of the other being interested in the opposite sex. Trust and respect go hand and hand with each other and I think that’s something we are so fortunate to have in our relationship.
communicating.While I definitely know everyone is different, the best advice I have for those doing long distance relationships- always communicate how you are feeling, and always support your significant other by listening to them and empathizing with them or acknowledging their feelings. Being away in different + new places can be really tough when you are used to having your significant other living close to you. Adam knows me inside and out, and knows how to communicate my own feelings when I don’t understand them, so I’m super thankful for his perspective and his support on those tough days. I also highly recommend learning each others “love language” to understand how to communicate better. We recently took the quiz and found we both already knew each others because we know each other so well, but i really think knowing how to care for your significant other and what they need in relationships helps a lot.
connecting. Calling each other in the afternoon is a new thing we have been doing after i get home from work and he gets done with classes and group meetings. It’s nice to stay connected to each other during the week when we barely have time to text each other by calling each other basically to say hey im here for you and sharing about their day with you by saying i did x y z today and engaging in random conversation and laughing together. And then calling each other at night is something important to me because I like hearing his voice before I fall asleep and the comfort of knowing someone is there for me, especially living alone.
little things. whether it’s a good morning text or telling them good luck on a presentation, or exam, remember it matters to know they are thinking of you. flowers aren’t always important, but remember those batteries they needed? amazon them to their address. Write a note in the mail to say hi, i know everyone loves getting hand written notes in this technology derived world. When adam remembers I have a big week or something that has been on my mind, he makes a point to show he was listening and that he wants to be there for me even when he can’t be physically. Or when you’re together- hold hands or a kiss on the forehead can make such a difference. anyway to show you care in a small way, really is a big thing.
dating. And last but not least, whether you do long distance or live together, I think dating is the most important part of a relationship. You don’t have to drop $100+ on a fancy dinner, but take the time to spend
quality time together each week. My FAVORITE thing is when he visits and we enjoy our first glass of wine together after a long week laughing and being able to spend time with him talking about life and our future together. If you wait on us at a restaurant, you’ll definitely have to wait an hour or come by three times before we even get a chance to look at the menu. Even after 8 years of being together, I’m always learning something new about adam and think it is so important to invest in alone time to connect.
What’s adam’s long distance advice? When you’re together, be together…and I couldn’t agree more. it’s so easy to think about work and things you have to do, but its soo important to be in the moment and really cherish your relationship and each other. don’t be on your phone when you’re with each other, ESPECIALLY on a date.
I hope you enjoyed this post and would love to know what your tip for long distance relationships would be if you are in one! If you liked this post comment below what you would like to see more of or learn more about from our relationship, my life and his fit life, work and relationships, etc.